This year for Lent I have decided to give up WORRYING! No, it is not because the priest at church today said giving up chocolate was what 3rd graders do. I have given up chocolate for the last umpteen years, and I had already decided that because of my pregnancy I was not going to give up anything food related. I knew I'd fail miserably.
I decided to do this yesterday when I was was so worried, I coudn't even pray. I couldn't even get the words out. I have worried so much the last few days that it has actually made my head hurt. I know I do have a legitimate reason to be concerned, I was told on Wednesday that my baby's heart was not beating. I am 10 weeks pregnant, but my body is not showing any signs of a miscarriage, so I am holding out for a mistake and a miracle. It is my responsibility as this baby's mother to have hope, and my responsibility as a Christian to believe in a miracle.
We as parents worry. That's what we do. In a day's work I could worry about: money, did I serve enough vegetables?, should I have spanked Nathan?, did I spend enough time with him?, did I listen to Emma?, did I make Gary feel loved?, the earthquake in Japan, gas prices, will we ever get to take a family vacation, why can't I find more time to pray?, did what I say offend my coworker?...blah, blah, blah. I do it all day long! "You are worried and distracted by many things: there is need of only one thing." Luke 10:41-42
So during Lent, and hopefully from now on, I am not going to worry. I realize for a person with as natural a gift as worrying as I have, this is pretty much impossible. So what i am going to do is, when I find myself in the middle of a worry, I will STOP and thank God for a blessing in my life. Turn my worry into praise. If I truly have faith in God, if I truly believe He will take care of me, then I can't worry. Right?
Just give up.
Give up me. All of me. And all my illusions of control. Do I really want to be in control anyway? Wouldn't it be better for all of us if God were in control? What is worry anyway? Can I hold worry and trust in the same soul? If my soul is filled with worry, if I am anxious about the things of this world, can it be filled with Him? If I am worried, am I really able seek God's kingdom and His righteousness? (from blog In the Heart of my Home)
Be content with what you have: for He has said, "I will never leave you or forsake you." Hebrews 13:5